Watched this anime recently on the recommendation of a friend.

What a shit show. That yuri scene in episode one was false advertising, this show never gets horny enough to be worth talking about again! And why else would anyone talk about this show unless it's to critique the paint-by-numbers cliche-filled plot, stock characters, and obnoxious protagonist?

I would love for the show to take the premise seriously and write something about a depressed disillusioned ex-soldier finding a reason to fight again and form wholesome bonds with his students. I would love for the show to use the premise as an excuse for sex and comedy! But then it just... wasn't funny or sexy because it was too busy being a child's power fantasy.

The protagonist saves the day. Dumb villains execute nonsensical plans so he can save the day. Everything is easy for the protagonist, like getting over his depression and helping kids figure out the obvious and becoming as competent as the author wants him to be.

The protagonist never does anything that would make him unlikable for the target audience, and when he does anything that would make him unlikable for general audiences he's never framed as a piece of shit by the story and cinematography and never suffers real consequences, like that child molester from Mushoku Tensei. These aren't shows written about losers as they confront the hard truths about what they are and strive to change, these are shows written for losers as they fantasize about indulging in every disgusting desire they've ever had in a world that exists primarily for them. Konosuba isn't like that. Characters actually call Kazuma a pervert when he's a pervert. Yes, it's not much, but it's something.

Asstasting Retards of the Bitchass Mammary Inspector... Actually, no, I shouldn't call it that because this show doesn't have the balls to show enough skin to be worth talking about.

This show babbles about magic without an actual magic system. You put shit together or reshape it or break its bonds apart in Alchemy. The bad guys use human alchemy to make them feel alien and dangerous, taking a taboo of the setting and turning it into their fighting style. The Death Note kills people if you write their name in it and imagine their face. The Geass is a psychic power stored in the balls- I mean the eyes. This show babbles about shit like three-man squads and two-man squads and how you break up the lines of your chants affects the spell in random arbitrary ways for no real reason but it never matters. The author didn't create a magic system here, he just wants to pretend he did. Imagine if Fullmetal Alchemist babbled about how many points your alchemy symbol has and how it randomly arbitrarily affects what's done with the alchemy, and also sucked massive fucking cock, and what would you get? A show that sucks massive fucking cock.

The girls are boring. All of them. None of them are sexy or interesting enough to carry this show.

The first "arc" introduces characters, and the writer decides to give the protagonist an Imagine Breaker except it's an AOE "fuck your magic" field and swiftly give up on finding excuses to write around the Imagine Breaker. This magic is tulpas, it's allowed to ignore the anti magic field. This magician uses a sword spell he already cast, so the field is useless, except if you reapply it at the right time it works, that way he can be wounded so things can happen how the author wants. How contrived.

And then, we get a tournament arc because the author's already out of ideas. Schoolkids are going to fight and the author decides to pretend he's introduced all these one-note background characters who supposedly have names. He's so good at magic, he can tell a child to "study the thing you want to turn into" and it's helpful advice. He's such a smart and good teacher. Oh, wait, no he's not, he's just a loser in a world of retards where he's the only one allowed to be competent except when he can take the credit for it.

And then we get another tournament arc. Yay. And it's aborted just like in Naruto, except instead of another nation forced into an unwinnable situation to add to the worldbuilding, it's the Queen sending everything she has to kill a child. I sure do love aborted tournament arcs. You know what else should have been aborted? My son.

We learn the chick's an "Amplifier", which is a Kekkei Genkai people in this MAGICAL WORLD WHERE MAGIC CAN DO ANYTHING hate so much, the Queen of the country was forced to fake the chick's death as a child and give her to a rich girl's family. Because why get her a life that keeps her out of the public eye or give her to a family about to travel to another country if she's secretly a princess who faked their death as a child? That would make too much sense. Let's allow her to visit the most important school in the universe and form connections with all sorts of important people. That won't backfire at all.

Hey, want to hear my evil plan for discreetly killing a small child with a mediocre universally-hated magic power? Step one, slip a mind control necklace onto the President of the United States and have him send everyone under his command to kill a child for no stated reason. What a great plan! This surely cannot backfire. Let's also ensure it's really obvious he's mind controlled so the protagonist, only competent man in the universe, can be the one to figure out what's going on and take the necklace off.

Why not falsify evidence or accusations to have her arrested and then snatched on the way to prison, or invite her somewhere and snatch her there, or just snatch her in her sleep? Fuck this show.

All of this has no real consequences. Nobody loses faith in the Queen or her guards. Nobody wonders who that child is and why she looks like the dead princess and what made her so important an evil organization able to GET A CURSED NECKLACE ON THE FUCKING QUEEN wanted her dead. Was it a mind control necklace or cursed necklace that kills her if she doesn't do what she's supposed to? Both are retarded but I can't quite remember how retarded the show was that day.

In the next arc, we learn Re=l (great fucking name) the emotionless doll fetish girl is an emotionless doll fetish girl. And she's also fucking stupid. Well, at least she doesn't go barefoot and dip her feet in water to use her powers. This time the villains try to kidnap the amplifier. Doesn't matter. I applaud the author for being slightly original by also making the cliche kuudere a fucking idiot. Bullyable idiot characters are fun, especially when they're cute girls. In this arc the villains try to kidnap the amplifier alive so she can do something important but it doesn't matter. Why did they try to kill her before, again? What is their actual goal? What's their motivation?

And then the show's over. They've introduced everything and everyone. The author's made his self-insert as important as he can possibly be.

Oh wait, the show isn't done yet. Time for filler!

During a "beat the romantic rival for your lover's affections" arc that's an obvious forgone conclusion because the female character clearly hates the detestable male rival who obviously cannot win without ending the show(and the protagonist is obviously going to get any girl he wants, this is a loser anime after all), there's a pointless section where the men have kids fight for them. A smart writer would make the way the male rival treats his kids show his awfulness to the woman, causing her to reject him even if he wins by relying on wealth and privilege and superior firepower, to contrast how the protagonist tries to bring the best out of his kids while respecting them as individuals.

Two men are just duelling for a woman and it's played completely straight, and when the kids are done the adults just duel again anyway. That pointless kid fight "mattered" because the writer needed to make sure the target audience know what it means for 3 people to work together, and for 2 people to work together, because later this show will have the teacher and his student work together, and they are 2 people, and 2 people working together is such a big brained concept the target audience needs an overly long anime explanation to spell out in fetus-friendly language how this strange alien concept of "tcheemuuwaaruukuu" works. The teacher gets beat up a little (Like in those Naruto fanfics where the author swears the protagonist is not godlike, he gets beaten up sometimes) but it doesn't matter, and then the hero stops the wedding and defeats the baddie. Oh and there are zombies on drugs. I wish the author was on drugs, it could have made this story more entertaining. Maybe the protagonist should have noticed the villain using magic his old enemy used, or asked the girl where he learned to do that spell and why, but that would require thinking. The protagonist isn't smart, he's just the least retarded person in his setting. Usually.

Did I miss anything? This show didn't even have the balls to make the school the man teaches at an all-girls school where all the female kids and teachers want his dick or want him dead, male characters exist and the author makes sure to never let any of them take up screentime or look better than the protagonist ever because he's a coward and this is a masturbatory wish-fulfillment fanfic cynically written to appeal to the base desires of its target audience. But why would its target audience watch this when they could watch something hornier, funnier, better-written, or all three?

[www.reddit.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/anime/comments/mh8...myanimelistnet/

Too many anime fans are consoomers who celebrate anything they watch and get mad whenever anyone critiques it. Too many shows are rated "fine" by the average consumer. MAL should alter their system so "So bad it's entertaining, 10/10" and "The greatest show of all time, a drunk driver broke my legs but this show helped me to walk again so I could get up and turn it off" reviews don't count towards the actual score, and go into a separate tab so people who want to see these reviews can rate them as funny or unfunny. Anime fans should raise their standards for the media they consume and use these sites to sort good shows from the shit. A show shouldn't need to be Sonic 06 level bad before anime fans give it anything less than a 6/10. It's like they think watching an anime is better than doing anything else, even though "doing anything else" includes watching better anime instead.