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> Red's Unumbered Individul Bounties, For when I am lazy

 
post Feb 15 2015, 11:48
Post #141
meow_pao



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Here's the proofread version of "Sister Faerie".

=====


Title: Sister Faerie
Translator: Nom-Nom


LEGEND:

EMPTY LINES - Separation between panels
XXX: xxx // xxx - Text spread across two bubbles (separated by "//")


=====


P05
LEA: Kyaa!!
SFX: Skid

SIG: Heh heh. Long time no see, Leafa.

LEA: Sigurd...? Is that... you...?

SIG: Have you already forgotten about me? Such a cold woman you are.


P06
LEA: What's going on...?
LEA: To think that Onii-chan and I were defeated so easily in a simple ambush...

LEA: And the wound I just received still hurts... Wait. It can't be...
LEA: Don't tell me you've...

SIG: Hmph.
SFX: Whirl

BOX: After you had me so disgracefully exiled, I met someone who claimed to work for RECT.
BOX: I was thus given this tool that controls the senses.

BOX: Through this, I can control the pain filtered through the AmuSphere however I like.
BOX: In other words, I can cause you to black out in the real world from intense pain.


P07
LEA: T-That's cheating! I'll report this to game management!

SIG: Unfortunately, I must advise you against doing such a thing. You do know, of course, how long it takes for a GM to show up, do you not?

SFX: Whirl
SIG: If you were to report this, I will inflict maximum pain on that bastard over there before a GM manages to arrive.
LEA: Wha...

SIG: Were I to do that, he would not get away with simply blacking out.
SIG: Besides, he's your beloved "Onii-chan", isn't he? // Heh heh...

SIG: Now... I trust you understand your situation...?
SFX: Tighten
LEA: Gulp

LEA: What... do you want me to do...?
SIG: Heh heh. You do seem to understand. In that case...


P08
SIG: Hey. What's wrong? This is never going to be over if you don't open your mouth.
LEA: Ku...
SFX: Chu
SFX: Gulp
LEA: Mm...

SIG: Even you should know how to give a blowjob, yes?
SIG: Besides, who knows what will happen if you don't service me? Ha ha ha.

SIG: Heh heh. Yes, move that tongue of yours even more.
SFX: Lick

LEA: Mmph!
SFX: Slide
LEA: Ngh!

SFX: Gulp gulp
SFX: Slurp slurp
SIG: Mmm... Shall we start getting me off?

LEA: Hmmf...!?
SFX: Slide


P09
SFX: Slash

SIG: Your movements are immature, but your body is surprisingly mature.

SIG: Heh heh. I seems that this can make up for the previous disgrace I suffered.

SIG: But first, let's have you savor my taste in your throat.

LEA: N-
LEA: Nooooo!!
SFX: Shove


P10
SIG: Behave yourself, // woman!

SFX: Glub
LEA: Mmmph!

SIG: Swallow every drop, Leafa.
SFX: Splurt splurt
SFX: Gulp gulp
LEA: Nnn...
LEA: Nng...

SFX: Splurt splurt
SFX: Gulp gulp

LEA: Mmph... Nng...
SFX: Gulp gulp

SFX: Slide
LEA: Puaah! Cough! Cough!!
LEA: Gasp!
LEA: Nooo!
SFX: Push


P11
SIG: Hmph... You can't even satisfy me with a blowjob.
SIG: It seems I need to punish you.

LEA: Kyaa!
SFX: Wham

SFX: Slash

LEA: Fueh...
SFX: Spread


P12
SIG: Well, then. I shall be taking your virginity with my cock.
LEA: Eek! // N-No...!
LEA: Y-You can't... I-It won't fit...
SFX: Boing boing
SIG: Your reaction is surprisingly innocent. Don't tell me you're a virgin in real life?
LEA: W-What are you saying...?

SIG: Heh heh. So this is your weak spot. Once all this is over, I'll have you please me in reality as well.
LEA: Eek! // S-Stop...
SFX: Touch
SFX: Rub

SIG: Let's take your virginity in both this virtual world and the real one.
LEA: D-Don't!
SFX: Choke
LEA: N-No! Nooooo!

SFX: Slash
SIG: Huh?


P13
SIG: Wh...
SIG: What is this...?

SIG: It can't be... You... How did you... this quickly...?
SFX: Drain

KIR: I've had much experience... in enduring heightened pain...

SFX: Fwooom


P14
KIR: Sugu...
LEA: Onii... chan...

SFX: Creak

KAZ: Sugu...?


P15
KAZ: S-Sugu...!?

KAZ: P-Put your clothes on!
SFX: Turn


P16
SUG: I keep washing and washing... but that disgusting feeling won't go away...
SUG: If this goes on... I'll break...
SUG: Onii-chan...

KAZ: Sugu...

SUG: Onii-chan, please... I'm begging you...!

SUG: Help me to forget... everything...


P17
KAZ: Are you okay with this... Sugu...?
SUG: Y-Yeah...

SFX: Tremble
SFX: Slip

SFX: Rustle
SUG: D-Don't... Don't stare at me like that... It's embarrassing... Onii-chan...
KAZ: Sugu... You're beautiful... You've really grown since then...
SUG: N-No... Don't say such things...
SFX: Pomf


P18
SUG: Is this really okay...? Taking advantage of Onii-chan like this...
SUG: Onii-chan already has Asuna-san...

SUG: But... I can't stop now, even if I wanted to...
SUG: Onii-chan... I'm...
KAZ: It's okay... You don't need to say anything...
SUG: I'm sorry for being such a bad girl...

SUG: I'll just think of today... as a dream...

KAZ: Nn... Mmm... Kuh...


P19
KAZ: Sugu... I'm going down...
SUG: Huh...?

SUG: H-Hyaa!
SFX: Spread

SFX: Rub
SFX: Twitch twitch
SFX: Spread
SUG: Ah! Yaah!

SUG: Onii-chan! D-D-Don't! Not there!

SUG: Kyaa!
SUG: A-Aah! Eek!
SUG: No...!
SFX: Lick lick


P20
SFX: Lick

SUG: Eek!
SFX: Twitch

SUG: Y-You've seen... all of me...
SUG: N-No... Onii-chan, you dummy...

SFX: Lick lick
SFX: Suck suck
SUG: Nn!
SUG: Nng
SUG: Hyaa
SFX: Twitch twitch
SFX: Haah haah

SUG: Mmf
SFX: Squeeze squeeze
SUG: Nn... Mmm...
SFX: Slurp slurp
SUG: Ngh...


P21
KAZ: I'm going... to use my fingers...
SUG: Fueh...?

SUG: Eh!?
SFX: Slide
SUG: Hyaa!

SUG: D-Don't put it in!
SFX: Shlick shlick

SUG: Hii! A-Aah!
SFX: Shlick shlick
SUG: N-Not there!!

SUG: Haah haah
SUG: Fuah...
KAZ: You're so sensitive, Sugu...
SFX: Drip


P22
KAZ: Here I go...

SFX: Touch
KAZ: This is your first time, isn't it, Sugu? Let me know if it hurts...

SUG: Y-Yeah... I'm okay... so...
SUG: ...go ahead.
SFX: Squeeze
SFX: Slide
SUG: Onii-chan's thing... is entering my...
SUG: A-Ah...

SUG: A-A-Ah...

SFX: Shloop
SUG: Aaaaah!
SFX: Squeeze squeeze


P23
SUG: Nn! Hii!
SFX: Shloop
SUG: O-Ow! Aaah!

SUG: Fuah! // Ahn!
SFX: Clench
SFX: Whap whap
SFX: Shloop shloop
SFX: Whump whump
SFX: Grip
SFX: Twitch twitch
SUG: O-Onii-chan! // Ahn! // Hyaa!
SUG: Hya
SUG: D-Don't... Y-You're so rough...!

SUG: Haah haah
SFX: Twitch twitch
SUG: You're touching... inside my... A-Ahh!

SUG: Hii!
SFX: Squish squish
SFX: Whap whap
SUG: Aah!


P24
SUG: Nn
SUG: My pussy... It feels so good...
SFX: Twitch
SUG: Ah
SUG: Hii
SFX: Squeeze
SUG: Fuah! Fuaah!
SFX: Whump whump
SUG: Hii!
SUG: Nn!
SFX: Shloop shloop

SUG: Onii... chan...
KAZ: ...Hm?
SFX: Whap
SUG: More... Go harder... Rougher...
SFX: Shloop
SFX: Drip drip

KAZ: Are you sure...? Sugu...
SUG: Haah
SUG: Haah
SUG: Yeah... Onii-chan...


P25
SFX: Shloop
SUG: Aaaaah!!

SUG: Hyuu!
SUG: Nn
SFX: Twitch twitch
SFX: Whap whap
SFX: Whump whump
SUG: Uwaa! Yaah!

SFX: Whap whap
SFX: Fwap fwap
KAZ: Sugu!
SFX: Shloop shloop
SFX: Shlick shlick
SFX: Creak creak
SUG: Aah
SUG: Hii
SUG: Onii-chan! Onii-chan! A-Aah!


P26
SFX: Whap whap
SUG: Aaah!
SUG: Hyaa!
SFX: Shluck shluck
SFX: Boing
SUG: Yaah! This position... is so embarrassing! Hyaa!
SFX: Twitch
SUG: Hii
SFX: Clench

SUG: Onii-chan's thing... is so deep inside me...!
SFX: Pinch
SUG: Hii
SUG: Fuah! No... I can't...
KAZ: Sugu... Me, too... I can't...
SFX: Squeeze

SFX: Whap whap
SUG: It's okay... Onii-chan... You can cum... inside... // inside my pussy!
KAZ: Su... gu...!
SFX: Whap whap
SFX: Twitch twitch
SUG: Ah! No! I can't... any more...!!


P27
SUG: Ah!
SUG: Hyaa!
SFX: Spurt spurt
SUG: Nnn!
SFX: Splurt splurt
SUG: Aaah!
SFX: Gush
SUG: Uwaah!
SUG: Aaaah!
SFX: Splurt splurt

SUG: So... hot...


P28
SFX: Shloop
SFX: Twitch twitch
SFX: Drip
SFX: Shudder shudder

SFX: Tremble tremble
SFX: Bloop bloop
SFX: Drip drip
KAZ: Sugu... Are you okay...?
SUG: Sniffle sniffle
SFX: Twitch twitch
SUG: Haah
SUG: Haah
SUG: Y-Yeah...

SUG: Thank you... Onii-chan...


P29
KAZ: Nn...
SFX: Zzz

SFX: Zzz
KAZ: Sorry... Su... gu...

SUG: I'm sorry... Onii-chan...


P30
Hello! Seven Days Holiday here.
We've come down to four doujin, with two of them being for SAO.
And with this, "Sister Faerie" is finally done.
As you can tell by the cover, this is a doujin featuring Suguha.
When I was doing the draft for this, the last line was going to be, "(Mumble, mumble) ...Asuna..."
But I think that would've been too mean to Suguha...
I could also have made Kirito evil, but I decided not to.
Thank goodness, thank goodness...

Well, 2013 is almost here.
Seven Days Holiday will also have to start planning for more events.
Please do drop by if you have the opportunity.

Well, then, I wish everyone a Happy New Year! Have a good one!
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post Feb 22 2015, 08:52
Post #142
Red of EHCOVE



Viceroy of Oook & EHCOVE cofounder
**********
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,492
Joined: 28-April 07
Level 365 (Godslayer)


TL wishes to be credited at "Yurineko"


--------------------

Tag check Backlogs: expunge rename K+

Created tags you can blame me for: clamp (def, use), clone (def, use), closed eyes (def, use), dismantling (def, use), facial hair (def, use), fishnets (def, use), hair buns (def, use), headless (def, use), hood (def, use), horns (def, use), kemonomimi (def, use), missing cover (def, use), sarashi (def, use), sketch lines (def, use), soushuuhen (def, use), tail (def, use)

Tags significantly changed: filming (def, use), large tattoo (def, use), exhibitionism

Interesting tag proposals/revisions under discussion (please consider commenting): anon, below knee boots, calendar, clueless (aka naive), couple (two people having sex), eye-covering bang, hat, helmet, husband and wife (aka married couple, spouse), phone/camera scan, under knee high boots / below knee boots, watching

Tags I am thinking about proposing (be scared / PM me with comments/examples): butt plug, covered in cum, halo, high heels, metal bikini, mentally retarded, miniskirt, ribbon headband, samurai, self-sucking, socks, flora/vegetable insertion (please post examples here), veil

Play some games and rip them for the galleries

My scan commissions

Can you read Japanese? Do you want lots of GP/creds/hath? Visit our bounty subforum! Extra rewards if you translate posted EHCOVE bounties or my proposed projects here! (Also looking for editors and proofreaders).

Celebrate EHCOVE's 5th Anniversary and check out our first exclusive Artist/Game CG set release, the OPTC Nude Project: A Man's Dream

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post Mar 2 2015, 15:42
Post #143
andrewijk



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I'll be editing Naked Snake.
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post Mar 2 2015, 20:03
Post #144
NekoHime27



忙しい猫姫
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Group: Catgirl Camarilla
Posts: 10,795
Joined: 9-July 11
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I'll try my best to edit SISTER FAERIE


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post Mar 4 2015, 22:13
Post #145
Red of EHCOVE



Viceroy of Oook & EHCOVE cofounder
**********
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,492
Joined: 28-April 07
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QUOTE(chung2795 @ Mar 2 2015, 05:03) *

I'll try my best to edit SISTER FAERIE


Chung, you actually want to edit it? I won't say no, but I'd rather you focused on translating if you can. we are doing relatively ok (<5 works) on the editing backlog, so I would prefer to get more scripts out there. But if you want to get this edited, don't let me stop you, it's a free world (and group biggrin.gif). Just throwing my 2 credits as the project's coordinator.


--------------------

Tag check Backlogs: expunge rename K+

Created tags you can blame me for: clamp (def, use), clone (def, use), closed eyes (def, use), dismantling (def, use), facial hair (def, use), fishnets (def, use), hair buns (def, use), headless (def, use), hood (def, use), horns (def, use), kemonomimi (def, use), missing cover (def, use), sarashi (def, use), sketch lines (def, use), soushuuhen (def, use), tail (def, use)

Tags significantly changed: filming (def, use), large tattoo (def, use), exhibitionism

Interesting tag proposals/revisions under discussion (please consider commenting): anon, below knee boots, calendar, clueless (aka naive), couple (two people having sex), eye-covering bang, hat, helmet, husband and wife (aka married couple, spouse), phone/camera scan, under knee high boots / below knee boots, watching

Tags I am thinking about proposing (be scared / PM me with comments/examples): butt plug, covered in cum, halo, high heels, metal bikini, mentally retarded, miniskirt, ribbon headband, samurai, self-sucking, socks, flora/vegetable insertion (please post examples here), veil

Play some games and rip them for the galleries

My scan commissions

Can you read Japanese? Do you want lots of GP/creds/hath? Visit our bounty subforum! Extra rewards if you translate posted EHCOVE bounties or my proposed projects here! (Also looking for editors and proofreaders).

Celebrate EHCOVE's 5th Anniversary and check out our first exclusive Artist/Game CG set release, the OPTC Nude Project: A Man's Dream

User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

 
post Mar 5 2015, 00:41
Post #146
NekoHime27



忙しい猫姫
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Group: Catgirl Camarilla
Posts: 10,795
Joined: 9-July 11
Level 405 (Godslayer)


Yeah this might be the ONLY work I edit for EHCOVE (just for the lolz), so no need to worry. However I might take up to at least this weekend cause classes and stuffs.

This post has been edited by chung2795: Mar 5 2015, 00:42


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post Mar 5 2015, 19:07
Post #147
Red of EHCOVE



Viceroy of Oook & EHCOVE cofounder
**********
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,492
Joined: 28-April 07
Level 365 (Godslayer)


Ok, go for it smile.gif


--------------------

Tag check Backlogs: expunge rename K+

Created tags you can blame me for: clamp (def, use), clone (def, use), closed eyes (def, use), dismantling (def, use), facial hair (def, use), fishnets (def, use), hair buns (def, use), headless (def, use), hood (def, use), horns (def, use), kemonomimi (def, use), missing cover (def, use), sarashi (def, use), sketch lines (def, use), soushuuhen (def, use), tail (def, use)

Tags significantly changed: filming (def, use), large tattoo (def, use), exhibitionism

Interesting tag proposals/revisions under discussion (please consider commenting): anon, below knee boots, calendar, clueless (aka naive), couple (two people having sex), eye-covering bang, hat, helmet, husband and wife (aka married couple, spouse), phone/camera scan, under knee high boots / below knee boots, watching

Tags I am thinking about proposing (be scared / PM me with comments/examples): butt plug, covered in cum, halo, high heels, metal bikini, mentally retarded, miniskirt, ribbon headband, samurai, self-sucking, socks, flora/vegetable insertion (please post examples here), veil

Play some games and rip them for the galleries

My scan commissions

Can you read Japanese? Do you want lots of GP/creds/hath? Visit our bounty subforum! Extra rewards if you translate posted EHCOVE bounties or my proposed projects here! (Also looking for editors and proofreaders).

Celebrate EHCOVE's 5th Anniversary and check out our first exclusive Artist/Game CG set release, the OPTC Nude Project: A Man's Dream

User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

 
post Mar 8 2015, 19:45
Post #148
NekoHime27



忙しい猫姫
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Posts: 10,795
Joined: 9-July 11
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Ok editing work done for Sister Faerie
[www.mediafire.com] http://www.mediafire.com/download/yp2bs9v6...ster+Faerie.rar
The file's password has been given to Red_Piotrus.
Probably my first and last editing done for EHCOVE.


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post Mar 10 2015, 08:02
Post #149
amped



Experienced Editor and Translator
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Script for [Machednia (Sachuma)] FanFanBox11! (Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu)

P.4

さあて、
今日はコレで
Now then,
today we’ll use these

みくるちゃんを
to give Mikuru-chan

たっぷり可愛がって
あげるわよ~
looots of loving attention~

きゃっ…
Kyaa…

ふえ。。。。。。
Fue……


P.5

ほらほら、渋ってないで
はやくはやく
Hey now, don’t hold back.
Hurry up.

ううう~
Uuu~

んっ。。。。。。
Nn…...

ほら、妹ちゃんも
みてるんだから
Hey, Kyon’s sister is watching so

しっかりね
do it right, ok?


P.6

あっ。。。
Ahh…

ああ、
Aah

ビクッ
*throb*

はあ
Haa

はあ
Haa

はあ。。。。。。
Haa……

んっ
Nnh


Nn


P.7

ほら、 今度は
お胸でね
Here, this time
with your breasts.

ハアッ。。。
Haaa

ハア
Haa

ハア
Haa

は。。。
Ha…

あ。。。
Ah…

キャッ
Kyaa


P.8

じゃ、そろそろ
行くわよ
Well then,
It’s about time we got started.

あ。。。
Ah…





や。。。
そんなので
引っ張っちゃ。。。。。。
No…
Don’t pull it like that……

あ。。。
Ah…


P.9

ハアッ。。。
Haaa

はあっ
Haaa

はあっ
Haaa

あっ…
そっちわ。。。。。。っ
Ah…
That’s my……!

ハア
Haa

ハア
Haa

ハアッ。。。
Haaa

ハアッ
Haa


P.10

ふあ
Fua


ふあ。。。
Fuah…

あああ
あああ
AHHHHHH

ビクッ
*throb*


P.11

今度は
妹ちゃんの番よ
Now it’s your turn,
Imouto-chan.

きゃっ
Kyaa

みくるお姉ちゃんが
やってたように
Try doing it

やってみて
Just like Mikuru-oneechan did.

ふあ。。。
Fua…

んむ。。。
Amnh…

ちゅむっ
*Lick* [Lit. “Chumuu” – sort of a kissing sfx]

ちゅうううっ
*Suuuck* [Lit. “Chuuuuu” – longer sucking sfx]




こっちも
擦ってあげる
Here,
rub mine too.

キャッ
Kyaa

あ。。。
Ah…


P.12

はあ
Haa

はあ
Haa

ふあ
Fua

ふあ
Fuah

は---
Ha ---

はあ
Haa

ドキ
*Thump*

はあ
Haa

ドキ
*Thump*




P.13

ハア
Haa

ハアッ。。。
Haaa…

妹ちゃんの
こっちも
入れるわよ
I’m going to put it
in here too, Imouto-chan.

ドキ
*Thump*

あ。。。
Ah…

う。。。うん
O…ok.

ドキ
*Thump*

はあっ
Haaa

ふああ
Fuaaah
[There’s a sweat effect on/next to the text here, be careful not to erase it.]

ふあ
Fua


P.14

あっ。。。
Aah…

はあ
Haa

は。。。
Ha…

あ。。。
Ah…

はあ
Haa

あ。。。
Ah…

ハア
Haa

き、
きつうい。。。
T-
Tight…

こーら、
妹ちゃん
Hey now,
Imouto-chan

キャッ
Kyaa

お口が留守に
なってるわよ
You’re not using your mouth anymore.

ドキ
*Thump*

は。。。
Ha…

ハアッ。。。
Haaa

ハア
Haa


は。。。
Ha…

ドキ
*Thump*


P.15

はあ
Haa

あ。。。
Ah…

はあ
Haa

ん---…
Nh---…

はむ
Hamn

んっ
Nh

んくっ
Nguh


Nh

んくっ
Ngu

は---
Ha ---

はあっ
Haaa

P.16

んく
Ngh

んくっ
Nguh

んっ。。。。。。
Nnh……

ハアッ
Haaa

ハア
Haa

も。。。
もうだめぇ。。。
No…
No more…

は。。。
Ha…

あ。。。
Ah…

はあ
Haa

はあ
Haa

あああ
AHHH!
[Another sweat effect on the text here – be careful not to erase it.]


P.17

ハアッ。。。
Haaa…

はあ
Haa

あ。。。
Ah…

あ。。。
Ah…

ああああっ
AHHHHH!

ハア
Haa

ふあ
Fuah


P.18

あとがき
Afterword

初めての方もそうでない方もこん〇〇は.
まけどに屋のさちゅまです。
この度はFanFanBox11をお買い上げ
いただきありがとうごさいました。
殆だ台詞のない落書き本にも等しい本ですが
ここまで読んでいただきありがとうございました。
I’m Sachuma of Machednia.
Thank you very much for buying FanFanBox11.
It’s really not much more than some scribbles with a little dialogue,
but thanks for reading it anyway.

サークル始まって初のアニメ本 (原作は小説ですが) でしたが
いかがたったでしょうか
深夜にうっかりアニメを見てしまったのが原因で
まんまと嵌ってしまいました。
This is our group’s first time doing a book based on an anime (though the original is a novel),
but hopefully it’s to your liking.
After staying up late watching the anime, we ended up totally hooked on the series.


特にキョン妹に。
孤島編の鞄の中からの登場と最終回の 「てへ」 に脳をやられてしまったようです。
勢いで小説も全部読破しました。
Especially Kyon’s little sister.
That scene during the isolated island arc when she pops out of his bag with a “Teehee” and taps herself on the head mischievously caused me to run out and read all the novels right away.

おかげでFanFanBox10(東鳩2) をさしおいてこっちが早く出ることになってしまいました(…)
いや、 この辺は反省しなきゃいけませんね。反省反省。
(サ、サンクリには何とか間に合わせたい…)
Because of that I set aside FanFanBox10 (To Heart 2) and quickly put this book out instead. (…)
Yeah, I really should reflect on that decision, huh? Reflect reflect.
(S-somehow I want to make it in time for Sankuri…)
[T/N: From what I can tell (thank you google), Sankuri is short for Sunshine Creation and refers to another convention like Comiket.]

アニメの第2期があるのであれば是非ハカセきゅんの尊顔を拝みたいと思っている(…)さちゅまでした
次は東鳩2本でお会いしましょう~
Please join us in praying for a second season of the anime.
Let’s meet again in the To Heart 2 book coming out next.

あ、あとサモナ4と幻水5も出したいな…
I’d like to put out books for Summon Night 4 and Suikoden 5 too…
[Not sure if those are really the series he is talking about since I’m not familiar with them. I just googled the names…]


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post Mar 10 2015, 12:46
Post #150
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Proofread FanFanBox11 and found nothing wrong with it and no further suggestions. It is "really not much more than some scribbles with a little dialogue" as the author said so the script is good as it is.


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post Mar 11 2015, 16:48
Post #151
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Yes, it's not every dojin where the author's rants are the longest part, lol smile.gif

Editing bounty for it: http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=12065


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post Mar 16 2015, 22:17
Post #152
At4r1



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Translation for (C73) [Sarurururu (Doru Riheko)] CLAREMOE (Claymore)
Pm me if something seems weird or if I missed something.

Page 4

ダブルエッヂ
Double Edge

このたびはダブルエッヂの新刊をお買い上げいただき有難うございます。
Thank you for purchasing Double Edge's new publication.

今回はクレイモアにて同人誌を製作させていただきました。
This time I have produced a Claymore doujinshi.

//This isn't exactly what he/she (will use he since it's a bother to use he/she all the time) is saying. He's saying something along the lines of "been allowed to produce a...", but it doesn't carry the correct meaning if you do not know he's speaking keigo (polite speech). Hence it messes up the following sentences as well so I will just tweak it all a bit to keep as much of meaning as possible. Could change it if you want to.

というのもアニメを見てどっぷりハマり、ぜひ作ってみたいと思ったのが切っ掛けです。
As I watched the Anime I got really hooked on it, so it was a real pleasure to make it.

// Coupled with the earlier sentence it originally said something along the lines of "I say that but as I watched the anime I got really hooked on it so I told them that it would be my pleasure".

勢いで漫画も買い揃えてみたもののアニメの方は後半、ラキがどうとか場面切り替えがどうとか思うところは多
々ありはしましたがまぁ愛着ついたので同人誌製作はそのまま進めていくことしました。
I went along and bought the manga and as I tried to align myself with the later part of the anime, I found that the later part had gotten changed with Raki taking part in it so I got a bit skeptic about it all, but well, I got kinda attached to it anyway so I had no problem continuing the doujinshi.

つたない内容ですが気に入っていただければ幸いです。
It's an inept work but I hope that you will take a liking to it.

Page 5

さっきからずっと考えていたが
I have though it through but

やはり無理だ。お前の仲間にはなれない あきらめてくれ
as expected, it's impossible. I can't join forces with you, please give up on it.

そう言うと思ったわ・・・
I thought you would say that....

Page 6

しばらく会わない間に随分性格悪くなったわね あなた
In the short while we haven't seen each other your personality sure have gotten worse, haven't it...

いえ 元からかしら・・・
no, maybe it was like that from the beginning...

多分 元からだ。情報だけは有難くもらっておく
Probably, from the beginning. I will just gratefully accept the information you gave me.

あなたの手足切り取って・・・
I could just cut off your arms and legs...

必要な部分だけにして持ち帰ってもいいのよ
I only need to take the necessary parts with me after all.

あたしは
Don't I?

残念だがそれは無理だ
It's a pity, but you won't be able to do that.

私はこの七年の間にお前が思うより
During these 7 years I have, more than you think, gotten

強くなった。
stronger.

// It was quite hard to make it fit with the "stronger" at the end. Well, whoever is editing this can change it if it seems weird.

Page 7

あら
Then

その七年の修行で私を倒せるとでも?
Do you think that those 7 years of training will be enough to defeat me?

・・・あ
...ah

んあっ
Mhah

ああぅ
Aaah

Page 8

きゃぽ
Kyappo

//Sound effect of pulling out of something that closes I again

うっひゃー みるよクレア このぐっしょり具合
Uhyah, look at you Clare, you're this soaked.

ひぅ
Hiuh

ヘレン
Helen

お願いだ・・・もう・・・
Please...let up....

耐えろ
Endure it

おっ
Oh

デネヴ!
Deneve!

妖力解放と性的快楽は似ている
The release of ones yoma power is quite similar to sexual pleasure.

今は組織から身を隠すため、直接妖力操作の訓練はできない
Now, for the sake of hiding from the organization, we need to train our control of our yoma powers more.

これは代わりの訓練と思え
Think of this as an alternate training method.

Page 9

そういわけだ
That's how it is.
With that being said.


Mh

ぅあ
Uah

んじゃ 遠慮なくいくぜ!
Nhyah, I will come at you without restraint!

ぼっんっ
Bonnh
*Bounce*


ひあああぁぁぁっ
Uaaaaahhhh

いっ
Ih

いいっ
Iiih

あん
Ahhn

ふぁ
Fuah

ぁ・・・ああっ
A...aaaah

いくぅっ
Cummmming

おおっと
Whoops

Page 10

へへっ まぁ待てって クレア
Heheh, hold it for a sec, Clare.

まだイくんじゃねぇぞ
You can't cum yet.

こっからが本番だかんな
From here on out it's the real deal.

なっ
Wha

ヘレンそれは!?
Helen, that's!?

ああ 修行の成果さ
Yeah, the result of training.

あたしが 伸ばせるのは手足だけじゃねぇってわけ
My arms and legs aren't the only things I can extend.

あっ
Ahh

ああ・・・
Aaah...

Page 11

くうぅっ
Kuuh

んっ・・・・くっ 太い・・・
Nhh....kuh...too...thick...

ヘレン・・・
Helen...

加えて こんなことも出来るんだぜ
In addition, I can even do things like this.


Ka


ha

Page 12

ふぁ
Fuah

あぁっ 奥まできてる
Aaah, it's all the way in

ヘレンのが
Helen's thing is

つきあげてっお腹の方までき・・・
when you thrust I can feel it

来てぅよ
all the way to my stomach.

あん
Ahn

ひぅ
Hiu

あぁ
Aah

あっ
Ah

やぁっ
Yaah

へへ・・・
Hehe...

たまんねぇな クレア
It's irresistible, Clare

その声
That voice

Page 13

やっぱ やらなくても 平気ってのと
Ultimately, while we don't need to do it

// Talking about it as a sense of need, as in eating or sleeping.

やる楽しみは別物だぜ
It's really enjoyable, isn't it.

あっ
Ahh

あん
Ahn

んんっ
Mhhh

はぁ
Hah

やってる時は他のこと考えなくてすむからな
Cause while doing it there's no need to think about anything else.

はぁ
Haah

あっ
Ahh

さぁ クレア あたしが
Well then, Clare. I'm going to

とっておきのもんをくれてやるよ!
give you a big helping now.

くぅっ
Kuuh

Page 14

ああぅっ
Aaaah

ひゃんっ
Hyanh

ふぁっ
Fuah

こすれてまわって・・・
It keeps twisting around...

いいいぃあぁぁ
Iiiiaaaah

おいおい
Wow

すげーえろい汁でてんな
An amazing amount of naughty juices is coming out.

ぐっちゃぐっちゃになってるぜ
You're completely soaked.

Page 15

やぁ
Yah

ひっ
Hihh

壊れ・・・ 壊れてしまう
Breaking.....I'm gonna break.

ヘレン!
Helen!

ああ いいぜ
That's fine

壊れちまえよ 玩具にしてやっから
Go ahead and break. I will keep you as a toy if you do.

隊長・・・
Captain...

ウンディーネ 隊長
Undine-captain
Captain Undine.

ああっんっく、
Aaaahnkuh

ふああぁぁぁ
Fuuaaaaaaah

Page 16

あぁ
Aaah

ふぅあぁっあああぁぁっ
Fuuaaahaaaaaah

Page 17

はあ
Haah

はあ
Haah

・・・ミリア
...Miria

//From here on out it gets kinda funny if you know the raw serie (i.e not the translated one) cause they use several lines that they use in the actual series here. It's funny cause it kinda works but there still this feeling that it's kinda "off". Either way, I will not bother translate it this way, since I doubt I will make it justice (and I really don't wanna bother checking the translated version for all the lines).

そうだミリアは?
That's right, what about Miria?

ああ姉さんなら あっちだ
Aaah, if it's about Nee-san, then she's over there.

見ろ
Look.

Page 18

あれがこの七年の間にミリアが身につけた・・・
This is what Miria managed to create during these 7 years of training...

新 幻影だ!
the new Mirage!

//It was Mirage right? or was it Phantom?

主にいじる ばっかだから回数制限もないのだ
Keep going as long as you like, there's no limit to the number of times.

// Well, this was the worst sentence in the whole book, cause it can be interpreted as being said to either Clare or Helen and neither does she mentions anything specific that can be used to find out. The first part makes me think that it's directed towards Helen so I will go with that.

むひょー
Whoa

なっ
Wha

あぅんっ
Ahn

あぁ
Aah

ひゃんっ
Hyanh

んぁ
Nha

Page 19

いいっ
Iihh

あふぅ
Afuh

ひああぁぁぁぁぁ!
Hiaaaaaah!

いかせて! このまま・・・ イかせて下さいっ
Let me cum! If it goes on like this....please let me cum!

私の隊長は 今も昔もミリアだけ・・・
My captain is, and has always been, Captain Miria only...

隊長がイくなら私もイきます
If my captain is cumming so am I.

しんしあ タバサ・・・
Cynthia, Tabitha....

そうか 思いは同じか
I see, so our feelings are the same

Page 20

よし イくぞ
Well then

ピエタに散った仲間の魂と共に!!
Together with the scattered souls of our fallen comrades!!

そ、壮絶・・・
S,sublime....

だな
Yeah

って、  あっれ?
Hmmm, wait...?

もう一人いなかったっけ
Wasn't there one more person?

ゆま
Yuma

いざとなったら いつでも見捨ててくれてかまわない・・・・・・・
I don't care if there comes a time when you will have to leave me behind....

けどさ、 私もこのままで終わりたくない・・・終わりたくないよぅ
but you know, I don't want it to end like this......not like this.

Page 21

別に難しい事はしてないお。
I didn't do anything especially difficult you know.

左手でこうやってくいっと・・・ くいくいっとね
I just used my left hand a bit and slice....like slice slice.

//Yup, none of that dignified feeling here.

てれさ。
Teresa.

化物め・・・
You monster...

Page 22

奥付
Colophon

発行
Issue

ダブルエッヂ
Double Edge

発行人
Publisher

白い黒猫
Shiroikuro neko
(Whiteblack cat)

検索される際には「ダブルエッヂ」で探してみてください。
If you are looking for it please search for "Double Edge".

発行日
Date of publication
Publishing date

Page 23



Page 24

北の戦乱から七年が過ぎた。 妖気を抑え身を濳めていたクレア達は散っていった仲間の敵を討つため、南進を
開始する。 一行はその道程で、西のリフルと遭遇。 リフルとのやり取りの中で修行の日々を回顧するが・・
・・
7 years have passed since the war. With their bodies having become able to suppress their yoki, Clare and her companions are heading south to avenge their fallen comrades. While traveling, they encounter Riful of the West. During their encounter with Riful, they recollect the memories of their days of training but...

This post has been edited by At4r1: Mar 16 2015, 22:19
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post Mar 17 2015, 20:05
Post #153
CrimsonClown



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Proofread for CLAREMOE

Page 4:

QUOTE
I went along and bought the manga and as I tried to align myself with the later part of the anime, I found that the later part had gotten changed with Raki taking part in it so I got a bit skeptic about it all, but well, I got kinda attached to it anyway so I had no problem continuing the doujinshi.


Correction:I went along and bought the manga and as I tried to align myself with the later part of the anime, I found that the later part had gotten changed with Raki taking part in it so I got a bit skeptical about it all, but well, I got kind of attached to it anyway so I had no problem continuing the doujinshi. (I also changed "kinda" to "kind of" because I think using formal words and sentences help show a bit of his polite speech)

Page 5:

QUOTE
I have though it through but


Correction: I have thought it through but

Page 6:

QUOTE
In the short while we haven't seen each other your personality sure have gotten worse, haven't it...


Correction: In the short while we haven't seen each other, your personality sure has gotten worse, hasn't it...

Page 8:

QUOTE
The release of ones yoma power is quite similar to sexual pleasure.


Correction: The release of one's yoma power is quite similar to sexual pleasure.

Page 13:

QUOTE
Cause while doing it there's no need to think about anything else.


Suggestion: Either use "because" or add a "'" to it so it becomes "'cause", otherwise "cause" just carries a different meaning completely and I personally would the full "because" version but if you're trying to show that he's speaking in a casual way then "'cause" would fit here.

Page 14:

QUOTE
An amazing amount of naughty juices is coming out.


Correction: An amazing amount of naughty juices are coming out.

Also, is it yoma or youma? I'm not familiar with this series but Black Dog's Sailor Moon doujins use youma. There are 2 on page 8 and also yoki to youki on the last page if you need to make the changes.


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post Mar 18 2015, 08:59
Post #154
At4r1



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I agree with your comments. Regarding the yoma, you are right, it should be youma (same with the youki), did it unconsciously since that's what how they translated it in the manga (good job noticing it ^^).

The "cause" part was meant to be "'cause", since Helen speaks a bit rough generally (and this was a bit more than usual). And speaking rough isn't really one of my talents, I have some trouble with translating that type of character. But honestly, either "'cause" or "because" works so pick the one you prefer (directed at whoever makes the call, so probably Red or perhaps whoever will edit this).
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post Mar 18 2015, 17:14
Post #155
Red of EHCOVE



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Excellent. Editing bounty posted at http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=12127

CrimsonClown, feel free to post in the EHCOVE thread and ask to join, then I'll add you to our official list of proofreaders smile.gif


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Tag check Backlogs: expunge rename K+

Created tags you can blame me for: clamp (def, use), clone (def, use), closed eyes (def, use), dismantling (def, use), facial hair (def, use), fishnets (def, use), hair buns (def, use), headless (def, use), hood (def, use), horns (def, use), kemonomimi (def, use), missing cover (def, use), sarashi (def, use), sketch lines (def, use), soushuuhen (def, use), tail (def, use)

Tags significantly changed: filming (def, use), large tattoo (def, use), exhibitionism

Interesting tag proposals/revisions under discussion (please consider commenting): anon, below knee boots, calendar, clueless (aka naive), couple (two people having sex), eye-covering bang, hat, helmet, husband and wife (aka married couple, spouse), phone/camera scan, under knee high boots / below knee boots, watching

Tags I am thinking about proposing (be scared / PM me with comments/examples): butt plug, covered in cum, halo, high heels, metal bikini, mentally retarded, miniskirt, ribbon headband, samurai, self-sucking, socks, flora/vegetable insertion (please post examples here), veil

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My scan commissions

Can you read Japanese? Do you want lots of GP/creds/hath? Visit our bounty subforum! Extra rewards if you translate posted EHCOVE bounties or my proposed projects here! (Also looking for editors and proofreaders).

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post Mar 19 2015, 02:01
Post #156
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Nice Claymore doujin. If you could reserve it for me Red, I'll work on it, maybe this Friday or Saturday. If someone wants to take it up before then, well, that's cool too.

This post has been edited by Ser Maggot: Mar 19 2015, 02:02


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post Mar 19 2015, 13:19
Post #157
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As we already have 2-3 older projects, I am more than happy to reserve it for you smile.gif


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Tag check Backlogs: expunge rename K+

Created tags you can blame me for: clamp (def, use), clone (def, use), closed eyes (def, use), dismantling (def, use), facial hair (def, use), fishnets (def, use), hair buns (def, use), headless (def, use), hood (def, use), horns (def, use), kemonomimi (def, use), missing cover (def, use), sarashi (def, use), sketch lines (def, use), soushuuhen (def, use), tail (def, use)

Tags significantly changed: filming (def, use), large tattoo (def, use), exhibitionism

Interesting tag proposals/revisions under discussion (please consider commenting): anon, below knee boots, calendar, clueless (aka naive), couple (two people having sex), eye-covering bang, hat, helmet, husband and wife (aka married couple, spouse), phone/camera scan, under knee high boots / below knee boots, watching

Tags I am thinking about proposing (be scared / PM me with comments/examples): butt plug, covered in cum, halo, high heels, metal bikini, mentally retarded, miniskirt, ribbon headband, samurai, self-sucking, socks, flora/vegetable insertion (please post examples here), veil

Play some games and rip them for the galleries

My scan commissions

Can you read Japanese? Do you want lots of GP/creds/hath? Visit our bounty subforum! Extra rewards if you translate posted EHCOVE bounties or my proposed projects here! (Also looking for editors and proofreaders).

Celebrate EHCOVE's 5th Anniversary and check out our first exclusive Artist/Game CG set release, the OPTC Nude Project: A Man's Dream

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post Mar 21 2015, 02:06
Post #158
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Translation for Conan-doujin - Ai no Solea

Page 1

成人向
Targeted towards adults

続 ・ 哀の賛歌
Continuation - Ai no Sanka

哀のソレア
Ai no Solea

Page 2

成人向
Targeted towards adults

続 ・ 哀の賛歌
Continuation - Ai no Sanka

哀のソレア
Ai no Solea

Page 3


Page 4

コードネーム シェリー
Codename Sherry

黒の組織の研究員として過ごしいた日々・・・、
A researcher who worked for the black organization until....

姉の死・・・、
the death of her sister...

組織への疑惑・・・、
her suspicion towards the organization.

疑惑は疑念へと変わり・・・、
that suspicion soon changed into doubt...

やがて確信するに至った。
and before long they were confirmed.

そして、ある雨の晩、
And then, that rainy night,

宮野志保は組織を抜け出し、二度と戻ることはなかった・・・。
Miyano Shiho ran away from the organization, intending to newer return again...

Page 5

それ故に灰原哀の語る物語を会えよう。
And thus the tale of Haibara Ai began.
Thus the tale of Haibara Ai began.

言いようの無い切なさ・・・、
An unspeakable sadness...

押し寄せる喪失感・・・、
A rapidly growing sense of loss...
A surging feeling of loss...

寄る辺の無い身の不安・・・。
the anxiety of having no one to turn to...

私にはもう何も無いはずだった・・・。
I wasn't supposed to have anything left....

もう、失う物など何も無かった。
there wasn't even anything left to lose anymore.

ただ、一縷の望みにすがって、ここに辿り着いた。
But, following the one single ray of hope that was left, I reached this place.

Page 6

あの雨の晩、
That rainy night,

力尽きた私は紛れも無く捨て猫だった。
I collapsed as I reached the peak of exhaustion, no doubt similar to the form of an abandoned cat.

//It's surprisingly hard to fit the words "abandoned cat" in when talking about collapsed humans.

えらいこっちゃ
How awful

//Sigh, this is a few words that carry a lot of hidden nuances. I would probably
need a couple of sentence if I would try to make it justice. Basically, in this
context he says that this is a very terrible turn of events while still indicating
the they are significant. I was unable to think of a few words that represent that
since that sentence is a lot more about the feeling than the words themselves.

Page 7

紆余曲折あったにしても・・・、
Thought I carried with me a lot of complications...

この人達はお人好したにも
they were very soft-hearted people

転がり込んだ私を受け入れてくれた。
who were willing to take me under their wings, someone who just crash landed into

their lives.

//Couldn't think of a better way to put it.

そんなこんなで・・・
So with those various things happening...

私に居場所を提供してくれた。
They gave me a place to live.

いいのかしら
Is this alright?

Page 8

イメージ映像
Image
Mental image

そうそう、こんな感じ、こんな感じ。
Yeah, it was this kinda feeling.

みーー x2
Meow

//A weak meow from a kitten

みかん
Mikan

//This is a joke. For some reason abandoned cats/dogs are often depicted in boxes

with that on them (mikan is a fruit, maybe a berry since there are some weird rules

regarding whats what and I don't really care enough to look it up).

このメロン頭が曲者なのよ。
So this melon head seems to be more than what meets the eye.

だって使えるし優しいんですもの。
After all, he seems very kind and useful.

イメージ映像
Mental image

あめちゃん あめちゃん
Candy Candy

優しい上に、こんな外見していて、キザったらしくて、フェミニストで、ええカッコしいなんて、カワイイじゃ

ない。
He's kind, a feminist and carries that smug look on him even though he has that

form. He really is quite cute, isn't he.

何だかんだ言ってフォローしてくれるし。
And no matter what he may say, he always comes through when I need him.

//This scene is from the bus hijacking scene with the detective boys, Jodie, Araide

(Vermouth, sorry for spoiler, it only aired about 20 years ago) and Akai.

Page 9

セックスに流れるのは孤独から逃れたい時の人間の本能。
To seek out sex when you want to escape from loneliness is one of humans basic

instincts.

引き合う孤独の力。
The strenght of that loneliness made us seek out each other.

ねえ、いきなり、股、開かせるの?
Hey, spreading me wide open all of a sudden?

もうちょっと気分盛り上げてからにして欲しいわ。
I just want to raise the mood for a little bit longer.

Page 10

私、まだ結構、素なんだけど・・・。
I...don't have all that....much experience in this yet....

男としては恥じらいの素振りも見たいんだよな。
As a male I enjoy seeing you show your embarrassment.

ばか・・・。
Idiot...

あ、耳まで真っ赤・・・。
Ah, even her ears turned red...

灰原の内側のこのヒダヒダがすげー気持ち良いんだよ。
These bumpy parts inside you feels really good, Haibara.

工藤君、まじまじと観察しない!
Kudou-kun, stop doing a serious observation!

あ、ピンクの藤壺、発見。
Ah, found the pink barnacles.

ペンライト、禁上!
Penlamps are banned!

Page 11

ヘッドロック
Headlock


Uh

私のアソコ、工藤君の成すがまま
I can feel Kudou-kun in my precious place.


Mh


Mh

あん
Ahn

あっ
Ah

あっ
Ah

吸って・・・・
Lick me...
Lick...

吸って・・・・
Lick me...
Lick...

んーーー
Mhhh

んーーー
Mhhh

内側も外側も工藤君に優しくに解きほぐされてゆく。
Whether it's the inside or the outside, I can feel Kudou-kun gently unraveling it.

Page 12

でも、ちょっと意地悪・・・。
But, he's teasing me a bit too much...

ほら、灰原の気持ち良い所・・・ゴリゴリ。
Look, Haibara's sensitive place is really...wet.


Nh

うん、丁度、その辺・・・
Ahh, there, that's the spot...


Mh


Nh


Nh

もっと、ヤラシイ声、聞かせろよ。
More, let me hear more of your naughty voice.

いやぁ・・・。
Noo...

工藤君、もう一通り潤ったから・・・
Kudou-kun, I more than wet enough now, that's why...

工藤君も我慢できないでしょ。
You can't hold back any longer either, right Kudou-kun?

Page 13

熱い・・・
Hot...

もう パンパンね・・・
It's rock solid...

頂戴・・・。
Give it to me...

Page 14

催促しといてお預けかよ。
You're gonna urge me on and then stop?

入れさせてくれよ。
Come on, let me enter you already.
Come on, let me fuck you already.

あなたの困った顔、好きよ。
You know, I love seeing your troubled face.

きゃー、犯されるー。
Kyaah, he's gonna fuck me.

な、なんて事を・・・
Wha, what are you...

//More literally it's "Wha, What a thing to...", but I opted for the other one
instead, feel free to change tho.

Page 15

私の「おんなのこ」に分け入ってくる工藤君の「おとこのこ」・・・。
Kudou-kun's "boy thing" is entering my "womanly place"...

//Wow, this sounds so awkward, but hey, that's what it says. If it bothers you then
change it.

あっ
Ahh

入って来る この瞬間が、たまらない・・・。
As always,that moment when it's entering me is unresistable...

んーーー
Mhhh

んーーー
Mhhh

ああっ、工藤君の・・・熱い・・・
Aaah, Kudou-kun's...warm...

工藤君、がんばって。
Go at it, Kudou-kun.
Work hard, Kudou-kun.

すげー、良い。
Amazingly good.

すげー、良い。
Amazingly good.

すげー、良い。
Amazingly good.

Page 16

無心に腰振ってる男ってカワイイわよね。
A guy thrusting his hips in a daze sure is cute, isn't he.

やっぱ、腕の中でよがってる女って、カワイイよなぁ。
As I thought, a woman moaning in your arms sure is cute, ain't she.

よいしょ x5
Yoisho

//expression of effort (think "heavy-ho"). Can't think of a good sfx for it tho.

あっ x?
Ahh

Page 17

んだよ、灰原、やってる最中に自分で乳首いじるのかよ。やらしいなぁ。
What's this, Haibara? Teasing your own nipples in the middle of it? How lewd.

だって・・・、
But...

だって・・・、
But...

Page 18

うん
Uhn

あん
Ahn

あん
Ahn

どうだ?
How is it?
Haibara

//I will leave this one to you since I'm drawing a blank here. What he says is
literally "How is it?", but it doesn't really fit. Maybe just add her name in all of
them?

どうだ?
How is it?
Haibara

灰原
Haibara

どうだ?
How is it?
Haibara

気持ちいい
Good
Amazing

くどうくん
Kudou-kun

気持ちいい
Good
Amazing

//Feel free to swap out with synonyms or other words.

気持ちいい
Good
Amazing

Page 19

ん x7
Mh
Nh

あっ x4
Ahh

えぃ x5
Eih

来る x5
Cumming

んーーー x2
Mhhhh

Page 20

あの時、 あの雨の晩、紛れも無く捨て猫だった私は・・・。
That time, that rainy night, the me that had been discarded like an abandoned cat...

今は、まるで・・・。
is now, just like a...

んーー x7
Nhhh

「今はまるで、盛ったメス猫ね。」とかベタなオチ付けるんじゃねーだろうな。
"Just like a cat in heat.", you aren't thinking annoying things like that, are you?

Page 21

穏やかな日々の流れの中で・・・、
In the gentle flow of our everyday life...

夢や理想、狂おしいばかりの幸せに泥酔してしまいぞうで・・・。
Dreams and ideals,a maddening amount of happiness which threatens to drown me...

と、陶酔の間違いだろ。
Sure you're not mixing it up because of the euphoria?

ちょっと工藤君、人のモノローグに割り込まないでよ。
Stop it Kudou-kun, don't just enter people's monologue as you please.

私は貴方の愛の奴隷。
I am your love slave.

そ、そういう、表現はよせよ・・・。
S,stop giving others a weird image of me...

Page 22



Page 23

あのね、工藤君。私ね・・・。
You know, Kudou-kun. I'm...

ん?。
Hm?

無理に元の身体に戻る事さえ考えなければ、今 この瞬間が恐ろしく幸せなの・・・。
As long as I stop thinking about forcefully trying to return to my old body, I'm
amazingly happy right now...

Page 24

うわっ!
Uwah!

Page 25



Page 26

灰原、愛してる・・・。
I love you, Haibara...

あら、うれしい。
Wow, I'm so happy.

好きだからって無条件で優しくなれる様な女じゃないわよ、私。
I'm not the kind of woman who would be unconditionally kind only because I love someone.

灰原、いい蹴りだが・・・せめてパンツ上げろよ。
Haibara, that sure was a nice kick but...can't you at least put on your panties?

Page 27

灰原さん、僕のサスペンダー使います?。
Haibara-san, would you like to use my suspenders?

ありがと。
Thank you.

灰原さん!僕、灰原さんの大事な所、見ちゃった訳ですから、
Haibara-san! Since I saw your important place,

もし灰原さんがそれを望まれるんでしたら・・・、
if you wish for it I will...

せ、せ、せ、責任取りますっ!
t,t,ta,take responsibility!

円谷君は責任取ってくれるそうよ。
It seems Tsuburaya-kun is willing to take responsibility.

男らしいわね。
How manly.


Vu

ねぇねぇ、光彦君、セキニンとるってどういう意味?
Mmmh, Mitsuhiko-kun, what do you mean by "take responsibility"?

えーとですね。
Well,that's.

Page 28

コナン君、歩美のおまんこ見せてあげる。
Conan-kun, I will let you look at Ayumi's pussy.

あ、歩美ちゃん、あなた何やってるの!。
A,Ayumi-chan, what are you doing!

いやぁ、この痴女っぷり、将来が楽しみだ。
Well, with that slutty behaviour, I'm looking forward to how her future turns own.

って言うか、 白痴露出?
Rather, a fool's exposure?

//Not really sure here, have not seen this combination before. The first two kanjis mean idiotic while the later two mean exposure, hence the translation.

この子達と一緒いると・・・、
Our everyday won't be boring at least...

退屈しない。
being with these kids.

Page 29

やだ ヘンタイっぽい・・・
No, you're being creppy...

萌えるじゃん
But it's so moe.

あとがき
Afterword

四冊目の灰原本。
My fourth book with Haibara.

最初の頃に比べたら随分と上達したのではないかと思うのですが、根本的に漫画の描き方が分かっていません。


When I compared this book with the first one I thought that I had made some pretty good progress but, I actually don't really know how you are supposed to draw a manga.

きっと、他人様が見たら変な書き方してる様に見えるんだろうな。
I'm sure that when others look at it they will think that it's an odd manner of writing.

これまで、ちょっと上品ぶったエロ同人誌を描いているせいか、女性とかで買って下さる方とかいらっさいます


Until now, probably because I have drawn a slightly refined type of ero doujinshi, there have been a lot of girls asking to buy my books.

何でも私に灰原本は「ラブイ」のもいいのですが、実は私、バカエロも大好きなんです。
For me it's fine if Haibara-books are "Lovely", but the truth is, that I also really love bakaero.

今はこんな同人誌を書いてますが、今後、バカエロ傾向に 向かう可能性も十分にあります。
Right now I'm fine with drawing these kind of books, but next time, it's fully possible that I will take a step towards the bakaero-trend.

さて、来年はどうなることやら・・・。
Well then, I wonder how next year will be....

Page 30

ヘンタイ・・・ x4
Pervert

Page 31

しー しー
Shhz Shhz

//Not completely sure what this is supposed to mean, I'm just guessing on it being him trying to quiet her.

ああばかだ バカエロだ
Aaa you idiot, idiot pervert.
Aaa you idiot, bakaero.

ホラ灰原、見ててやるから小便してみろよ。
Come on Haibara, I'm looking so just go ahead and pee.

ちょっと!! 冗談が過ぎるわよ!!
Hold it!! This is a bit too much for a joke!!

Page 32

バカエロサイコー
Idiot pervert is the best
Bakaero is the best.

見ないで!!
Don't look!!

見ないで!!
Don't look!!

嫌っ!!
Noo!

嫌っ!!
Noo!

あーー
Ahhh

あーー
Ahhh

あーー
Ahhh

哀ちゃん 何やてるの?
What are you doing, Ai-chan?

フケツ
Filthy

Page 33

禁止事項
Prohibited matters

本誌の日本国外への持ち出しを禁止ます。
It's prohibited to take the issue outside of Japan.

本誌の未成年への販売、未成年の閲覧を禁止します。
It's prohibited to sell or show the issue to minors.

本誌掲載のコンテンツ(図版・図柄・記事)の無断転載・無断複写を禁止します。
It's prohibited to do unauthorized reproduction or copying of the issue (illustrations, designs, articles).

//Yeah, because you sure haven't copied a copyrighted series....completely original... '-.-

本誌をスキャニングしWEB上で配布・交換する事を禁止します。
It is prohibited to scanlate the issue and/or distribute or exchange it on the web.

//Well, someone must have missed this line.


Resolve

くどうくん 今度は寝かさないわよ
Kudou-kun, you won't be getting any sleep this time.
Kudou-kun, I won't let you sleep tonight.

使い物にならなっしてやる
I have made proper preparations for it.

おくづけ
Colophon

発行 ・・二○○四年十二月三十日
Issue - 2004-12-30

発行元 ・・Studio empty
Publisher - Studio empty

執筆者 ・・ にし
Author - Nishi

連絡先 ・・
Contact information

印刷 ・・ しまや出版様
Printing - Shimaya publications

Page 34

成人向
Targeted towards adults
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post Mar 21 2015, 05:57
Post #159
CrimsonClown



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Proofread for Ai no Solea:

Page 1:

QUOTE
Targeted towards adults


Suggestion: I think you can shorten this one to just "For adults" as is common in most doujin translations.

Page 2:

Suggestion: Same as above.

Page 4:

QUOTE
and before long they were confirmed


Suggestion: and before long, they were confirmed. (I think the addition of the comma adds a bit of a drama and suspense feel as the line is read)

QUOTE
Miyano Shiho ran away from the organization, intending to newer return again...


Correction: Miyano Shiho ran away from the organization, never intending to return again... (Also a little suggestion of rearranging the words on the last part)

Page 6:

QUOTE
How awful


Suggestion: Following how he has been speaking to describe things, it would fit in more to use sentences in the form of "So..." or "Such..." if you were to keep this line instead of trying to make a couple of sentences out of it. Something like "Such horror" or with the same word "So horrific/horrifying". Other words you can use are dreadful, horrible, unpleasant, disturbing, nightmarish, ominous, terrifying, grim or traumatic.

Page 9:

QUOTE
To seek out sex when you want to escape from loneliness is one of humans basic


Suggestion: To seek out sex when you want to escape from loneliness is one of humanity's basic

QUOTE
The strenght of that loneliness made us seek out each other.


Correction: The strength of that loneliness made us seek each other out. (I also rearranged the words a bit)

Page 10:

QUOTE
These bumpy parts inside you feels really good, Haibara.


Correction: These bumpy parts inside you feel really good, Haibara.

Page 12:

QUOTE
Kudou-kun, I more than wet enough now, that's why...


Correction: Kudou-kun, I'm more than wet enough now, that's why...

Page 15:

QUOTE
Kudou-kun's "boy thing" is entering my "womanly place"...


Suggestion: I'd use something like "manhood" instead since the direct opposite of "woman" is not "boy" but "man". Honestly there are a lot of options to change around here and you can just refer to some other doujin translations to find words or even whole sentences that are commonly used in these situations.

QUOTE
As always,that moment when it's entering me is unresistable...


Correction: As always, the moment when it's entering me is irresistible...

Page 18:

Suggestion: For the "How is it?" parts you can also use "are you feeling it?" instead. I think using "Haibara" in all of them would be kind of too repetitive. Maybe mix it up a bit.

Page 21:

QUOTE
Dreams and ideals,a maddening amount of happiness which threatens to drown me...


Suggestion: I'd replace "maddening" with "overwhelming" since I think it works well with the word "drown". Also, don't forget the space after the comma here and at the last line on this page.

Page 26:

QUOTE
I'm not the kind of woman who would be unconditionally kind only because I love someone.


Suggestion: Use "just" instead of "only"

QUOTE
t,t,ta,take responsibility!


QUOTE
Well,that's.


Missing spaces after comma.

Page 28:

QUOTE
Well, with that slutty behaviour, I'm looking forward to how her future turns own.


Correction: Well, with that slutty behaviour, I'm looking forward to how her future turns out.

Page 34:

Same as 1st and 2nd pages.

Edit Note: Mikan is the orange fruit

This post has been edited by CrimsonClown: Mar 21 2015, 05:59


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post Mar 21 2015, 08:16
Post #160
At4r1



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Well done, not much to argue about there. All the corrections/suggestions are an improvement compared to before. Want me to send you/post an updated script or will the editor change them personally?

For page 15 I was tempted to just rewrite the whole sentence to something more "normal" since that's a weird way to say it in English (honestly it's kinda weird even in Japanese). The reason for there being a difference between them is that I first wrote "girly place" and then changed it (and forgot to change the boy part of the sentence). The lines were originally referring to a non-adult woman's respectively man's equipment, but it would probably feel more natural to use "womanhood" and "manhood".

For page 6 I would say either "Such horror..." or "So dreadful", but I think "Such" fits better than "So" in this situation. I'm still leaning a bit towards the "How" since the meaning carries some undertones that corresponds well with that word, but it's hard for me to give an objective view of it when I know the original text and uses that to fill in the gaps that's lost in translation.

For page 18 I was mostly worried about the small amount of space. Another way to do it is to spread out one sentence over them like "How" "is" "it" "Haibara", but I will let the editor pick since in this case it depends a lot on how it looks.

Regarding the "Targeted towards adult" I decided to just let the editor decide what to write there. Rather than me deciding something for that space it's better to pick something that will look good (like "R18" or something).

And finally the mikan. Good to know that it's a fruit, ever since I learned that bananas are technically (botanically) categorized as a berry, I don't trust my common sense to decide what's a fruit and what's a berry or whatever else they may be.

Edit
Seems the posting system played a prank on me at page 9. The "instinct" part is obviously a part of the earlier sentence. I also agree to changing it to "humanity's".

This post has been edited by At4r1: Mar 21 2015, 08:21
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