[X] My Assistant

Now for discussion of http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=10499 but may be used for others n the future

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Jul 7 2014, 13:23

Red ok'd it so here's the link. I did the first few as gray and left the rest alone because red didn't say he wanted it done. it's an easy fix either way though. Please let me know what you guys think.
[www.dropbox.com] https://www.dropbox.com/s/0uzpbsbfy4auxv7/done.rar

Back in the day when I used to edit in the non-h side of manga, this is how the before-release-check used to go by:
(BTW: I'm pointing basic things only.)

Page 003
-You missed 3 bubbles in the second and third panel.
-The text in first panel-second bubble should be "there where lots of costumers."// "Anyway,".
-Same situation for the "can't be helped,"// line break "Here!" in the 4th panel. I don't see any reason to put "Huh" there but that's for the translator to decide.
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad3LM/ff048f556a.jpg There seems to be a line break or 2 text boxes in that bubble.
-Overall I suggest you to use punctuation for every bubble : "." for ending a sentence "," or "-" for line breaks in separated bubbles.
-Also did you, by chance, used the magic wand or a macro to clean the bubbles? all the lines of the text bubbles in the first pages are jagged for some reason.

Page 004
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad4IC/c2885fa389.jpg [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad4IC/c2885fa389.jpg Lower text of these a bit.
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad4Qz/9d42ff8c7e.jpg You can probably break this sentence like in the raw "we sell this too, // remember that".

Page 006
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad53d/b92242974a.jpg That "Hm?" belongs to the bottom of the bubble in the panel where he notices something. Try to use the raw as reference for text allocation. There are some bubbles where you can actually place the text in the same way the raw has it(and of course some where you can't at all).

Page 011
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad5YX/5f99e35f9f.jpg Missed a bubble in the second panel.
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad5Ur/8cd294d3da.jpg is that a *?

Page 013
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad6c9/69c4879abd.jpg A bit to the left and lower.
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad6fx/a7a5ff695f.jpg You can change it for "does it...hurt?" so you can place the text better.

page 014
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad6vo/e065b58de6.jpg move it up a bit, and I think there are some spaces between the line breaks making the text harder to center.

page 023
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad7hd/c18dd89ebf.jpg decided to not redraw those parts sticking out of the bubble?
- [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad7nT/14a3f8978f.jpg brush tool collateral damage.

And lastly, try using the "save for web" feature in photoshop under the file menu to save your final edits without increasing the file size that much.

Thanks for your insight. I'll try to answer in order. I apologize in advance for the wall of text.
I wasn't sure how much I was allowed to change the script as I didn't translate or proofread it. Some parts of it seem odd to me personally, but it wasn't my job for this project. Personally the lack of punctuation annoyed the hell out of me, but I also see periods left off of normal sentences very commonly in h-manga. I never knew if it was out of preference, or lazyness.

3: those 3 bubbles and the others I left blank have no translation in the file attached to the bounty. I informed red of this and he said he would ask the translator. I forgot to mention that again when posting this draft. The * is indeed an * and what I used to mark bubbles without text. I forgot to delete that one though lol.
the line break you pointed out was one I forgot to fix. I was using a broken version of wildwords and it had very weird spaces. Not sure how you mean to separate when you say "//" as in "there where lots of costumers."// "Anyway,"I'm assuming just a second complete sentence. I cleaned the bubbles manually with a white brush, and then magic wanded the bubble white to remove any remaining noise . Saw in a couple tutorials that was normal.
3. added punctuation. I'm assuming the "customers, anyway" line leads into the missing bubbles. so I dunno if it's the end of a sentence or a run on. Didn't punctuate it because of that.
[postimg.org] http://postimg.org/image/t1eifh6in/
4: I had tried it both ways. I thought the single bubble looked better personally. This was what I got.
[postimg.org] http://postimg.org/image/6ba1rx17f/
6: Wasn't sure on that. I was thinking it might. Thanks for the tip about paying more attention to the raws. I tried really hard to do that throughout the book. Dunno why I missed that. for bubbles like the top right "Hey" what if any punctuation should I use there? I'd guess either "," or nothing.
11: See first part of 3. I did forget to delete the * though
13 Again, wasn't sure how or what it's "ok" to change from the translation. I figured that would look, and sound better but again I didn't proof it. [postimg.org] http://postimg.org/image/vs5c4jibd/ also you mentioned at the start to try to put "-" in line breaks between bubbles. I tried that in the "is this really" line but it looks kind of off to me. What would you suggest doing? [postimg.org] http://postimg.org/image/ptg85t5f9/
14: that line gave me hell for some reason. I don't know why but it refused to auto center. [postimg.org] http://postimg.org/image/vs5c4jibd/ was after playing around with it a good bit. even tried inserting white characters to move it a bit.
23: Fuck... lol I missed the one on the left. The one on the right is like that originally in the raw. I didn't know if that was a particle of japanese, or how he decided to do the bubble. I left it alone for that reason. The brush was a complete accident. I'm amazed you caught that. I did it, and even with your picture it took me a good 4 mins to find it. Was the redraw of her sock alright? I'm a complete newb with the clone stamp tool and it kept coming out rather blurry. That page alone was a massive time investment just because of that. [postimg.org] http://postimg.org/image/n62g4445h/full/

Thanks again for your advice. and again sorry for the wall-o-text.

I'd suggest listing all odd phrases here for us to review, unless you are 100% sure it's an error, than fix it.

The major thing was in a couple places it starts with ellipses.
pg20 "...ah, raul's" wouldn't "Ah...Raul's" be better?
pg21 the bubbles are "hey... ***{"Raul?"}do it here...more..."// "...please" I'd think the ellipsis before the please would be redundant, or put them after."
pg23 "...so, Raul" Again wouldn't "So... Raul," work better?
and 24 "...I'm sorry my bad please forgive me-" And again "I'm sorry..." etc I'd personally also add "my bad, please forgive me-" That's probably just from me being yelled at in school whenever I put ellipses at the start of sentences in class, heh. pg 3the "huh" seems unneeded there. Possibly "Can't be helped huh," or Can't be helped, huh. here." pg13 was just changing the "it doesn't... hurt" The line isn't wrong but, I'd think it would sound better as "doesn't it... hurt?"

Also red do you want them grayed/resized? You never mentioned either way.

This post has been edited by Alex68785: Jul 16 2014, 20:01

Sup.

The magic wand method you used damaged your text bubbles from inside making them jagged, and in some case almost erasing bits of them. If you are gonna use it, once you selected the bubble with the wand, go to select/modify/contract... and contract it 1-2 pixels.
For an even easier use of this method you can make an action and record it after the selection is done then record all the way to the "fill with white" and save yourself some time.

It's looking quite nice with proper punctuation. The fundamental problem of the lack of punctuation was lines like the one in page 003, since you merged the bubbles without making any distinction, the sentences where being subject of missreading like putting "there are a lot of customers anyway" all together.

In page 003 what I meant was to separate the lines around like this [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/aebXO/d499aaf6f0.jpg
that "Anyway..." continues the next bubble of "...why are you here?". [invalid] http://puu.sh/aeeqx/b958738755.jpg
That too, if you don't want to use "-" as line breakers between bubbles, you can use ellipses "..." which is more commonly used than "-". but since some bubbles are extremely narrow that probably will put more pressure in the text placement.

Page 004
Try something like this [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/aef9u/ef4f2936dc.jpg . If you are sure something looks better the way you did then by all means stick to it, remember you are the editor here .

Page 006
Yea, either a "," or nothing.

Page 013
If you are going to use "-" treat it as you would use a "," never put it alone and only put it in the first bubble, never in the next one. If you are going to use "..." put them in both to show continuity (unless of course the first bubble already has a "," then put nothing in the second.)

Page 014
Now it looks better.

Page 023
The redraw looks passable, you could add a few lines, add a graddient in the shadow, and clone the pattern from her other sock to avoid running out of space and reset your tool. Also level your clean so your redraw blends better with the background.
The black bit in the right of this [puu.sh] http://puu.sh/ad7hd/c18dd89ebf.jpg is part of a japanese character the original editor wrote out of the bubble for dramatic effects.

Good luck!!

This post has been edited by dharumas: Jul 17 2014, 07:24

Hey Alex68785, you alive?

@wavedash : Yeah. can always pm me if you need me. I don't check threads extremely often though.

Finally got in touch with Red. He said it was ok to post here again. so here's what I have. [www.dropbox.com] https://www.dropbox.com/s/pa479wi20vudp1h/m...g%20bubbles.rar
There are a couple missing bubbles Red said to Pm YQII about, so I'll do that. Again only the first couple are grayed because red said to leave that up to YQII as well. Please let me know what you guys think.

Edit: Also getting this weird error every time I refresh the page. Did I somehow manage to break my browser or something?
[postimg.org] http://postimg.org/image/nujdpndl9/full/

This post has been edited by Alex68785: Jul 25 2014, 06:00

[www.dropbox.com] https://www.dropbox.com/s/rkdkjn6bghxbqnz/%...Art%5D.txt?dl=0

Script for this one: http://ehentaihip.com/g/672763/5df7ec4689/

Thanks. Editing bounty is now posted at http://ehentaihip.com/bounty.php?bid=11034